Tattoos and no money

Those two things don’t mix well, do they?

So here’s the thing. While I’ve always had an affinity for alt style—my childhood idols included multi-hued, partially shaved-headed Cindy Lauper and Jem, her Holograms, and The Misfits (I totally <3 you, Stormer, btw)—fears of disappointing others, especially my ultraconservative grandmother, have kept me, sadly, in a state of relative normalcy. Sure, I have black hair (it’s also been bright-ass red), and there was that one aforementioned time that I pierced my own eyebrow (hair still won’t grow there—oops!), but I never did get to use the bleach and purple Manic Panic I bought in 10^th grade. After a friend was suspended for his aquamarine tresses, me and my perfect Permanent Record (do those exist in real life or just in cheesy high school sitcoms?) thought the better of it. I also never got the tattoo I had always wanted. Probably for the best, of course, as I don’t think I’d wear a 311 logo so well these days, but I’ve been yearning all the same. Yearning and planning. And delaying, unfortunately, as money is pretty hard to come by in this six-person household.

And what has all this delaying done, but led to browsing, and the browsing has led to wanting. So now, from two, maybe three tattoos on my wish list, I’ve now got nine. Since I haven’t even gotten started yet, and at at least $125/hour, I figure I’ll be forty before I get all of this accomplished. Maybe there’ll be a Suicide/God’s Girls for cougars by that point. Sigh.

So here it is, in all of it’s glory—the Definitive List of Tattoo Work I Want Done As Soon As Humanly Possible, Pretty Please and Thank You. I may edit with pics somewhere down the line, if I feel like it.

1-3. I have had a bird thing since before every black-eyeliner-wearing pale chick had a bird thing. It’s quite annoying now that it’s trendy, of course, but fuck it, I want some damn birds anyway. Namely, I want swallows. Firstly, swallows are a pretty traditional tattoo theme. They commonly represent home/family/roots/etc. Secondly, I have some lovely memories of swallows that nested near my home during a particularly difficult time of my childhood. Yes, yes, we’ve already established that I’m moody, whiny, and just crazy in general. So let me have my tattoos that remind me of my childhood heartaches. Thank you.

Initially, I just wanted an old-school, small blue swallow on my wrist. But I came across a lovely fairytale illustration from “Thumbelina” that I just couldn’t get out of my head. And this sparked an idea—three swallows, in different styles, for each of my children. For the baby, the small, cutesy old school swallow on either the left wrist or the back of my right shoulder. Because she is small and sweet and adorable and it seemed fitting. The pretty fairytale-esque swallow on my neck for my very princessy middle child. And a field guide illustration-style swallow on the back of my left shoulder for my son, a smart, practical, science nerd.

4. For my dad, who has terminal colon cancer, I want a fairly realistic dragonfly on a water lily on my right shoulder. Dad’s a science man, too, and has always had a particular interest in entomology. His doctoral thesis had something or other to do with dragonflies, and my mom, then his student (I know, gross…) assisted him with his research for it, so in a roundabout way, dragonflies are kind of significant to my existence.

The water lily is both his and my youngest child’s birth flower and has other significance that I won’t explain for privacy’s sake. I plan to surround that image with the birth flowers of other individuals of importance to me. A daffodil for my son (also my favorite flower), a violet for my older daughter, a poppy for The Mister, lilies of the valley (another favorite) for Mom, and a sweet pea for me, since I’m a part of the family, too. So, yeah, a bouquet on my shoulder, lol.

5. A blackbird on my left side. Yes, the bird thing, but also, for the Beatles song. One of my favorites.

6. The word “Release” in this font somewhere on my body. From the Pearl Jam song, but also because it’s something I need to remember to do.

7. A quote from one of my favorite poems, the oft-studied “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot: “And time yet for a hundred indecisions/And for a hundred visions and revisions/Before the taking of a toast and tea”. On my right side.

8. Two swallows, embracing lovebird-style, for TM and me. Yes, again with the swallows. Either on the low back or low, erm…front. Nothing indecent, now!

9. And, lastly, either a Union Jack mid-back or a few small battleships on my hips. From the lyrics to “Tattooed Lady”, a Kingston Trio song my dad used to sing to me every night as a lullaby.

We came to town to see that old tattooed lady.

She was a sight to see, tattooed from head to knee.

My uncle Ned was there. He came to gape and stare.

"I've never!" he declared, "Seen such a freak so fair."

And on her jaw was the Royal Flying Corp,

And on her back was the Union Jack, now could you ask for more?

All up and down her spine marched the Queen's own guards in line,

And all around her hips sailed a fleet of battleships.

And over her left kidney was a bird's eye view of Sidney,

But what we liked best was upon her chest
My little home in Waikiki! (What did you say?)

So that’s it! I’m hoping to get started on it next weekend, if everything falls perfectly in to place, which I know is asking a lot. I’m planning on getting the fairytale and old school swallows first. What do you think?

Meg, who really should be saving for college rather than paying someone to play paint-by-number on her body, but then, she's never claimed to have her priorities in line